Single, Healing, or Boo’d Up: A Black Woman’s Guide to Thriving on Valentine’s Day!

Brief Summary:

Whether you’re single, healing, or boo’d up, Valentine’s Day is yours to celebrate on your terms. This guide helps Black women in their 20s and 30s navigate the day with self-love, intentionality, and joy—whether that means a solo date, healing rituals, or setting relationship expectations that honor your worth. 💕✨

Valentine’s Day can bring up all kinds of emotions, but whether you’re single, healing from a past relationship, or happily boo’d up, this Day is yours to celebrate on your terms.

Often, social media, family members, and friends will pressure you to spend Valentine’s Day in a certain way. For instance, one may hear from an elder in their family, “Honey, when will you find someone to love? Aren’t you worried about being alone forever? You’re not getting younger.”

Or, a friend may say, “If I were you, I’d at least go on a date. You need to put yourself out there more. This is why you’re still single.”

While their intentions may not be to cause harm, individuals may feel judged, hurt, and frustrated by comments from individuals they’d expect to offer support.

Tonight’s post is to help Black women in their 20s and 30s navigating adulthood – balancing careers, finances, relationships, wellness, and self-care – receive the most from this memorable holiday with support.

For my single ladies, this is your time to pour into yourself. If you may be in a healing era, this is an opportunity to honor your emotions. And for those in relationships, let’s talk about setting expectations so the love feels mutual (because you deserve reciprocity, sis).

No matter where you stand, Valentine’s isn’t just about romance – it’s about love in all forms, including self-love and community. So, let’s redefine the holiday and thrive in it unapologetically. 💕✨

#1. All the Single Ladies Now Put Your Hands Up:

While I may not be a certified love doctor, I have seen the beauty of being single on Valentine’s Day. Although you may not spend it with a romantic partner, it can still be a day of joy, peace, happiness, and love.

Valentine’s Day is not just for lovers; it’s for those looking for love, too! Or for those who are enjoying the perks of being single.

I know that may sound strange, as our society often demonstrates that singleness is not a good concept. But there are gems you can gain in your single season, such as self-discovery, growth, and developing stronger relationships with yourself and others.

Therefore, spend Valentine’s Day how you see fit—honor where you are and nourish the parts of you that you love about yourself. Your choices are valid and worthy of celebration.

If I were a love doctor, I would prescribe a few suggestions for all of my Single Black Women on Valentine’s Day. For example, plan a beautiful solo date. Honey, I know there is a restaurant you have been holding off on booking for this special moment. As a result, book the restaurant, get cute, and celebrate the love you have for yourself.

If dinner is not your style, I suggest trying a Self-Care night or gathering your girls for a Galentine outing. There is no reason not to enjoy the moment, and whether social media sees it or not, you deserve the very best!

#2: I am Healing and Thriving!

For my ladies healing after a difficult breakup or losing a connection with someone you cared for, Valentine’s Day can be a day of tranquility. Don’t let the noise of social media fool you. Although challenging, your decision to step away may have been necessary.

Therefore, Honey, don’t let tomorrow lead to feelings of dread. Valentine’s Day is not about romance; it’s about the love we have for ourselves and others.

While it may seem like there are no perks to healing, let me eliminate some of the confusion because there are some positives. Some of the gems include having a stronger foundation for the future and emotional clarity. But more importantly, the healing season can bring peace.

For that reason, ladies in their healing season need to celebrate, too. As the resident love doctor-in-training, I would suggest setting some good boundaries for social media. There are going to be a lot of messages tomorrow. Remember that your peace can often be triggered, so block certain rhetoric that may not be helpful.

Even further, go out and celebrate what you have gained so far in your journey and practice some good self-care. All the things you were looking for your ex to do, provide for yourself on this special Day!

#3: We Go Together Real Bad, We Boo’d Up, Baby!

For my ladies who are rocking with a loved one during the Valentine’s Day season, I hope you enjoy your moments of fun. But there is one thing you must remember: Don’t forget to love yourself, too! Honoring your well-being is essential and allows you to offer the same reciprocal energy to your lover. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

Once you’ve poured into yourself, it’s time to offer love to the one you care for. Therefore, don’t forget to set expectations for what you desire on the Day of. A closed mouth does not get fed.

And I know that there are not always perfect days in a relationship. Some individuals who are boo’d up may be experiencing a rough patch in their love story, so setting intentions ensures all members involved feel loved, supported, and honored.

I know you also want suggestions from the love doctor in training, so here are a few. Plan a date that honors your love language. If you like physical touch, grab a couple’s massage. If you like words of affirmation, write a love letter that is shared over dinner. And, if you want quality time, plan a cute date night in which you spend time watching Netflix, talking in between scenes, and enjoying each other’s company.

Now, if you don’t want to plan a date, as there are other things to do, I would also suggest cooking a nice meal at home or enjoying an activity from the comfort of your couch. You can also exchange gifts if that feels good! Please don’t forget to consult with a professional love doctor to ensure these suggestions work for your lifestyle.

I hope you all have a wonderful and peaceful Valentine’s Day!

Let us know in the comments what you are doing to celebrate.

And I’ll see you next week when we discuss Taxes because Tax season is here. Are You Ready?

Peace + Prosperity, as always!

IHateAdulthood: The Black Woman’s Search Engine for All Things Adulting!