Rome Was Not Built in a Day: It’s Okay to Let People Evolve!

Rome Was Not Built in a Day: It’s Okay to Let People Evolve!

Ladies, have you ever had a conversation with someone from your past, and they expected you to be who you were the last time you spoke?

Maybe you haven’t seen this person in over five years, but they expect you to show up in the same way you would five years earlier.

And they don’t give you room to evolve. One of my favorite quotes is, “Rome was not built in a day,” and it’s my favorite because it can be applied in various scenarios (Goodreads, 2024). For this post, we will replace it with the word humans.

Humans were not built in a day. When I say that to you, what does it mean? How do you interpret it?

I believe you must give people space to evolve, transform, and change into different versions of themselves. We are all like butterflies, metamorphosing into the versions of ourselves we hope to be.

But, without individuals allowing us to change, we are left stuck in a cocoon of inability to show up as our authentic selves.

It can be pretty frustrating dealing with individuals who don’t let you learn from your mistakes or show up as a version of yourself that isn’t the version they knew.

If we are not careful, this can lead us to resort to behaviors we have let go of and no longer identify with.

In a society where “grinding” or “hustle culture” is often discussed, we must remember that everyone is on their own journey.

Sometimes, people don’t want to focus on the drama, and others don’t want to hear the “he says” or “she says” of the world.

Some individuals want peace. They want calmness. They want to enjoy what life has to offer.

Please don’t get me wrong; a lot of people expect you to be the version you used to be because they like who you were back then.

But some people expect you to be the version of who you were back then because they find your old version beneficial to their narrative.

If you understand what I am saying, let me know in the comments.

Some people enjoy you being “rah-rah” because it helps them seem “perfect.” Some people enjoy you being for the drama because it ensures you fit your hard-to-deal-with narrative.

And, if you don’t fit that narrative in their life, they no longer have room for you. But I want to encourage you to show how you feel most comfortable.

If you’re no longer who you were five years ago, baby, that’s okay. Those who are for you will find you. And those who are not will go about their business.

One thing I hope everyone will take away from this conversation is the fact that we have to give people the chance to “do better.” I am not saying let people walk all over you. But I am saying it is okay to allow someone to have the opportunity to be a version of themselves that is different than what you expected them to be in your head.