I know you all are probably tired of hearing me discuss dating, so this will be our last discussion for a while. 

But I had to hop on our blog this week to discuss the rules for dating in our society because it’s a lot! 

I check social media a few times daily if you are anything like me. 

And I often find many fascinating topics interesting to discuss in my group chats with my homegirls. 

One topic this week that has been off the charts is the discussion on where it is appropriate to take a woman on a first date. 

I never thought this would be an honest discussion, yet individuals on Instagram, Twitter, and Tik Tok are buzzing about what places are okay and which ones are not to take someone out to. 

And, y’all, the list is quite interesting. 

Some individuals feel places such as The Cheesecake Factory, Applebee’s, Church, Starbucks, Sports Events, and Bowling are inappropriate places to visit. 

Now, this conversation does not bash individuals who don’t want to go to these places.

 In life, we make our own decisions about what makes us happy and what doesn’t, so please don’t tell others I am over here judging anyone.

Your girl is just bringing a topic from social media into a practical discussion on our platform. 

But, I want to preface this conversation by saying it is often scary enough to ask someone out on a date, let alone choose a venue for the first outing. 

Dates can often make or break relationships, but when we put out lists like these, I wonder if it places more pressure on individuals to have it all together when they may be trying to figure things out themselves. 

Let’s keep it honest with one another; not everyone can afford Ruth’s Chris on their first date, but it doesn’t mean they are not a good person if they take you to Cheesecake. 

They actually may be the person you’ve been waiting for a long time to come around. 

I am not here to tell you not to have standards, but I am also here to say have grace. We must offer a level of understanding for others that we hope they will show us. 

Because, y’all, half the time, we can’t afford the dates we are asking for, we expect others to. And, when they can’t, we are upset or bothered or tell them they are not worth our time. 

Now, some places on the list make sense. It can be hard to talk to someone at the Club. It is often loud as I don’t know what. 

And a first date at someone’s home might be uncomfortable. 

But, for some people, these are the places individuals feel the safest, so if it works for you, I support it. 

Some other places on the list were sports events, and a basketball game is quite fun for a first date. You get food, good seats, and talk about the game. It can be fun. 

But, for those who think it’s not fun, your standard is just as important as anyone else’s.

If you’re following me, the main point is that there are too many dating rules. Individuals should leave one another out of their group chats and choose how they want to be courted. 

Who am I or anyone else on Beyoncé’s internet to tell you where it is appropriate to go on a first date because it’s not my business?

We often get caught up on what social media offers us, forgetting that the individuals making these lists don’t always follow these suggestions. 

And, even if they do, it doesn’t mean they haven’t been on a successful first date at one of these places. They just don’t want to go back, so don’t let them stop you from pursuing who you wish. 

Maybe Applebee’s is their spot, going to Church helps them know you follow the same religion as them, or perhaps y’all met at the gym, so it makes sense to go on a gym date. 

Social Media gives a false reality sometimes. Please don’t get caught up in the he says, she says, because it may lead you to miss out on the love of your life. 

Choose your own dating rules. Set the ones that work best for you, and execute them as you wish. 

Everyone will have an opinion on how you date, but it wouldn’t be our “normal” society if they didn’t have an opinion. 

Let others share, but choose accordingly what you will apply to your life. 

So many relationship podcasts, dating shows, and social media pages give great advice. But, some provide a skewed perspective. Choose to follow the ones that make the most sense for your life, not because they are getting the most likes. 

Likes don’t equate to competence on a particular topic. And I am not trying to be mean; I am just keeping it real. 

I don’t want anyone to feel they must follow everything shared on social media to have a successful relationship because it always doesn’t work. 

Today’s discussion was a reminder that you should do what you want in your relationships or during your dating season when you are single. 

You know what’s best for you; kaykay17569 on Instagram doesn’t. 

But I won’t drag this conversation out for today. I want to remind you that there are not many dating rules that you have to follow unless you want to. 

Let me know what you think about this topic in the comments.

Should there be universal places where individuals shouldn’t go on dates?

Do people need to mind their business, or is this a helpful tool for individuals to look at on social media?

I’ll see you all for our next post!

Peace and Prosperity, as always!

Jadis DeShong-Venay