Chapter 49: How to Make You #1 Again In Your Life!

Ladies, we are officially six months into 2023!

And I honestly cannot believe it! Where did half of the year go?

But, although we are halfway through, there is still time to make a difference.

And I know we still have many things to accomplish on our goal list for 2023!

One of the goals I am working on for the next half of 2023 is making me # 1 in my life again.

After dedicating 6 ½ years to school, taking care of homework assignments, studying for exams, and holding off on all the other things I wanted to do, June to December will be dedicated to making me first.

As you all know, I am on vacation from certain things, but still making $ because I still have bills to pay.

And after conducting a poll on IHateAdulthood’s Instagram this page, I realized others like me are struggling to put themselves first.

So, I am offering a few of the GEMS I have been using to put me first.

#1: Work on the guilt associated with putting you first

I don’t know about you all, but for some reason, I always feel guilty when I take care of myself.

Telling others no and prioritizing the items on my to-do list leaves me with a burden I cannot explain.

But, as time has passed, I have realized that if I don’t care for myself, my wants, and my needs, I will live for others’ acceptance and not take care of myself.

And I don’t know about you all, but that’s unfair.

So, recently I have been permitting myself to practice self-care, pursue my goals outside of academia, and let myself have breaks.

I have been reminding myself that people will always do them regardless, so I should take care of myself too.

It doesn’t mean I say no to everyone’s request. I am just no longer in the business of running myself ragged for others’ acceptance.

Slowly but surely, the guilt is going away. But it has taken much practice and much journaling.

#2: Practice saying “No”

For some reason, this word causes many issues.

But, it is one of the healthiest words you can use in adulthood.

Ladies, you don’t have to say yes to everyone. It is not wrong to turn things down and care for yourself instead.

You can’t make every party, or dinner, help plan every event or work on every business plan.

But, you can finally meal prep, take that solo trip you’ve been wanting to, and work towards some of the things you’ve been wanting to improve that have been pushed to the wayside.

Use no to set healthy boundaries with those around you. As you all know, boundaries are essential, so take time to apply them when you can.

#3: Ask For Help!

It’s okay to pause and say I may need more assistance putting myself first.

For example, it may be hard if you’ve never done it. And there is no shame in going out and seeking support on how to do it in a way that works best for your life.

While we drop GEMS on IHateAdulthood, they may only work for some, so I suggest trying outside resources.

It can be a therapist, life coach, health coach, or someone you trust who offers wisdom.

Sometimes asking for help can help you see some of the things you need to change to live life for yourself finally.

And it doesn’t mean you will always be able to put yourself first, but it does mean that you will start to see yourself more at the top of your to-do list.

#4: Put yourself in environments that are conducive to you elevating 

Ladies, one of my favorite things is being surrounded by people who support me in caring for me.

Whether it is my friends, my village, or my Instagram feed, I always want people around me who make me feel like it is okay to take care of me.

I don’t want to be around adverse environments that think putting you first is terrible because it’s not.

I know it can be connected to the word selfish. But I want to do a poll. Is being selfish always a bad thing?

I am not saying stop caring about everyone around you. It’s not wrong to take care of you sometimes. It’s okay to have selfish moments.

Love on you.

Take care of yourself.

Put you first.

Feed you.

Mold you.

And take care of the human you’re!

Putting yourself first will shock others, but that’s okay. As adults, we can set boundaries and change our trajectory whenever we want.

It may take time for others to adjust, but they will learn to accept the person you’re becoming. And, if they don’t, I’ll let you decide what you should do with them next.

Let me know in the comments how you are working to put yourself first.

I will see you in our next post!

Peace + Prosperity, as always!