Chapter 41: Barriers are meant to be broken: Don’t let anyone place you in a box!

This week’s blog post will examine how society often puts Black women in boxes, despite all the barriers we have broken!

We’ve gone to the moon! We’ve invented things! We’ve helped run societies! We’ve done the “impossible.” 

Yet, we are still provided opinions by others that tell us it’s not possible. For example, is there anything you’ve ever wanted to do, and the opinions of others have tried to stop you? 

To demonstrate, maybe you wanted to try a new career, use a different approach to dating, or take a different educational route to get the same outcome as others.

What about bringing home the first National Women’s Basketball Championship to your college in 2023? 

While watching the aftermath of the NCAA Women’s Basketball Championship earlier this week, I was reminded how much Black women are quickly labeled as if to dismiss the work they do as not capable enough daily. 

Angel Reese, a member of the LSU Tigers, said it best when reporters asked her after playing in the NCAA championship game. 

She stated, “I don’t fit the narrative. I don’t fit the box that y’all want me to be in. I’m too hood. I’m too ghetto. Y’all told me that all year. When other people do it, y’all don’t say nothing. This was for the people that look like me” (Freeman, 2023).

So, I pose a question to our society, what box are Black women supposed to fit in? 

Although it is a rhetorical question to many of our readers, to the larger society, it still crosses others’ minds. 

For some reason, Black women are exposed to titles that may not define who they are, as if to discredit the work they have or are working towards completing. 

And it is unfortunate that in 2023 we are still having this conversation. We are still telling individuals around us not to put us in boxes because I am here to remind everyone that there are not enough boxes to place us in. 

But, y’all, it’s not just society that does this to us. Sometimes, it is our friends, family members, co-workers, and even bosses. 

We will be told, “You can’t do that,” or “You’re not qualified,” or “You don’t do it like everyone else, so will you not fit the standard.”

And I am here to remind you that standards, barriers, and obstacles are meant to be broken down. 

They are meant to be dispelled. They are meant to be conquered. 

They are meant to be destroyed. 

While it is disheartening to have this conversation on April 6, 2023, it reminds me that we still have some work to do. 

And the work we have to do is to break down barriers and overcome the opinions of others that tell us we are not capable. 

I don’t know about you, but I was constantly reminded that we must work ten times harder as a child. Listen, it is not a fair statement. And I am not here to tell you to try that route because that is some pressure I would never want to put on your shoulders. 

But I am asking that you continue to show up, show out, and conquer the absurdities individuals say against you. 

If there is a new way to get that certificate or degree, try it.

If a program has never had a graduate that looks like you, I suggest you conquer it.

If there is a class that you’ve wanted to try, but others say it is too hard, take heed to their advice but move forward knowing that you’re capable of anything you put your mind to. 

Ladies, they will try to place you in boxes you cannot fit. They will tell you that you cannot reach your goals, but I am here to tell you that it is all a lie. 

Try the new dating app. Try dating multiple people. 

Try the new Google class, and get that certificate. 

Try the trade, and don’t worry if others don’t like it. 

Try something you’ve been scared to do! Be bold and courageous in your choices!

 Others will tell you it’s too risky, and I believe in a good pros and cons list. But, even if states try to rewrite History, Rosa Parks took a risk!

Oprah Winfrey took a risk!

Viola Davis took a risk!

Angel Reese took a risk!

Stacey Abrams took a risk!

Thema S. Bryant, the head of the American Psychological Association, took a risk.  

Ida B. Wells took a risk!

Audre Lord took a risk!

And, without these women’s risks, we wouldn’t be able to do the things we do!

So, please don’t play it safe because the generations after you need you to keep taking risks!

This week’s post is to empower and encourage us to keep going, to try new things, and to pursue our dreams despite the doubts of others!

I am so sorry that this will not be the last time we discuss this topic. Every time it will be a reminder to continue being the trailblazing Black women you all already are daily. 

Listen, life is already hard as ever. This post is not to pressure you into moving into a decision where you have to show up as someone you don’t want to. 

Instead, it’s to open the possibility that if you want to do something different here at IHateAdulthood, we will accept you. 

We will accept you for breaking the barriers and not letting anyone put you in a box. 

Showing up at your job daily is breaking the barriers! 

Stepping out on faith is breaking the barriers! 

Being a black woman in our society is breaking the barriers!

Being a black woman willing to take risks and not allow others to label them is breaking barriers!

Angel Reese said it best, “I don’t fit the narrative. I don’t fix the box y’all want me to be in” (Freeman, 2023).

Today’s post is a reminder that you don’t have to fit society’s narrative. You don’t have to be anyone you don’t want to be. 

You don’t have to live your mama’s dream. 

You don’t have to stay somewhere you’re unhappy!

You can be everything you want to be when you want to be!

Please join us for our next post, discussing finding jobs in a precarious society. 

Maybe we can help you find the next barrier to conquer or help you step out of the box individuals have tried to keep you in. 

Peace and Prosperity, as always!

Jadis DeShong-Venay 

References:

Freeman, M. (2023). “Commentary: Reaction to Angel Reese taunting Caitlin Clark shows the double standard for Black athletes”. Chicago Sun Times.https://chicago.suntimes.com/columnists/2023/4/3/23668071/angel-reese-caitlin-clark-reaction-shows-double-standard-for-black-athletes-ncaa-tournament