Chapter 33: What To Do When You’re Not Sure What To Do Next:

End of the Month Reflection

To be honest, I did not have much to share with you all this week, but I didn’t want to leave you all hanging. 

Instead, I wanted to keep it honest about what I do when I am unsure of what to do next on this blog or in life. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have a list of topics I could address, but none of them currently stood out to me. 

And it is in those moments that I reflect. Reflection can look like many things to me. For instance, I journal, meditate, go to therapy, or even pray. 

If you have not tried reflection before, I suggest you give it a shot. 

Reflection has many benefits. For example, it allows you to receive introspection, sort through thoughts you have, pause during times of silence, and create meaning. 

But more importantly, it often brings clarity when I am unsure what to do next. 

Through my reflection, I think about how I am mentally, emotionally, and physically. But even further, I reflect on the direction I want to take our brand. 

Therefore, I am going to do something different than our regular posts. I am offering a few reflection questions for you to ponder as we get closer to the end of the first month of 2023. 

At the beginning of the year, we often feel rushed to figure out what we want for the entire year. But this year, things will be different, and we will take our time processing what we want to do monthly instead of yearly. 

If you have already made your yearly goals, go ahead, girl! Use this reflection to check in to see how you did for January. 

If you are still trying to figure things out, use this reflection to receive direction and insight on the best steps for you to take in February. 

Through these reflection questions, I will offer a few words on how I’ve processed the question and offer 2-3 bullet points on how you can answer them yourself. 

Please share some of your thoughts in the comment below. Or, send us a DM on Instagram for your ideas to be shared anonymously. 

Therefore, we can share our thoughts collectively. I can do an end-of-the-month reflection for the rest of the year with different questions to offer you introspection. 

1.          What surprised you most about the month of January? What was the most challenging/best part of January? 

I was most surprised by how much fun I could have while taking breaks. As you all know, I am in grad school, but I was on vacation from classes in January. Although I still was completing my internship and working my job, I got to do a lot. 

The holidays invited a time for me to rest, reflect, and regroup. It was my first break in about two years since starting my program, and I only wished it lasted longer. But, although it only lasted a certain amount of time, my favorite part was going to the movies on Tuesdays with my mom. 

We saw Avatar, Whitney Houston, and Missing! And, if you don’t know, your girl loves a day at the movies! It offers inspiration and allows me to relax, which is fantastic. Although January was a good month, there were also complex parts. The most challenging part was returning to school because I am so close to being done. Post-grad life seems scary. But, instead of pre-worrying, I am trying to challenge myself to take things one day at a time. I plan to carry this motto into my next month of classes, work, IHateAdulthood, and internship. 

How was your month of January? Are there any things you could relate to from what I shared? 

Does reflecting on the past bring your more peace or anxiety? If anxiety, I want you to write the anxious thoughts out and try to challenge them by finding ways to disapprove the concepts you think may come true with positive/alternative ideas. 

2.         Did I take time for myself in the last month at least once a week?

I will be the first to admit that I often neglect self-care. My life is so scheduled right now that it will probably not get done if I don’t place it on my calendar. But, I promised myself in January to give myself the same care I give others. 

For most of January’s weeks, I gave myself self-care. But, in February, I need to do better. I need to carve out time to take care of myself intentionally. If that’s going to a candlelight concert, getting my hair/nails done, taking myself out to eat, or reading a good book, I need to make time for myself.

In what ways did you offer yourself self-care in the past month? In what ways did you neglect yourself?

If you could leave any feelings of putting yourself to the side in January, what would you do differently in February to make it happen?

3.         In the month of January, did you let matters that are of your control stress you out?

Oooo, girl! Yes, I did! I am guilty as charged. If it wasn’t work, it was school, internship, or even my personal relationships. 

January taught me I could only save or solve some things. I sometimes have to let go and let God. 

In February, I have to do better. How? I have to delegate my energy to things that are worth my time. If I can’t solve it today, I will have to let it go for tomorrow. And if I can’t solve it by myself, I will have to ask for help. And, if I have to take a break, I will have to take a break.

I can’t pour from a “stressed out” cup! And, sis, neither can you!

Therefore, ladies, how do you protect yourself from stress? What are some coping skills you use to combat stress?

If you don’t have any skills to combat stress, please take the time to create a list. It can be walking, reading, reflecting, painting, taking a dance class, or even working out. 

Find a resolution that works for your schedule and makes you content. 

4.         If not now, then when?

#4 is the question I have been stuck on all month. If not now, then when? And I am stuck on the question because Grad school is not complete yet! 

I would love to produce more on IHateAdulthood, complete more interviews, and make our brand larger. 

But I have to pace myself. Or I will burn out. But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t try to produce more content in small ways, so we can continue growing. 

And, ladies, the next step for IHateAdulthood is our Ladies Night discussion, which will premiere in February! 

What are your next steps? What stops you from answering the question, “if not now, then when?”

What do you want to do next with your time?

Let me know in the comments below. 

Check out our Instagram Page this weekend for the scenes of the Ladies’ Night Discussion!

And I will see you next week for our discussion!

Remember to take your time and reflect!

Peace and Prosperity!

Jadis DeShong-Venay

P.S. Happy Birthday to My Pops! You Getting Old Man!