Chapter 31: Seeing Past The Perfection: How to Not Get Lost in the Sauce of Social Media

Frequently, we will go to social media for inspiration and sometimes answers to the questions we are looking for to solve our adulthood problems. 

From social media, we gain answers to the latest fashion trends and even therapeutic guidance. 

While I am not here to tell you whether social media is an excellent place to gain information, social media can be helpful. 

But, it can also be quite detrimental. 

Not intentionally, but social media sometimes will have us thinking we are failing at life. 

From a 10-second Reel or 20 photos, we may compare our lifestyles to other women we’ve never met. 

We will see their cars, houses, shoes, bags, and followers and become discouraged, which makes me think we may have become lost in the perfectionistic sauce social media offers us. 

Are we still living our lives based on the desires of our hearts? Or, are we in some form of a competition with other women that don’t know we are in a race? 

I am not here to bash social media because, as I said above, it can be helpful. 

However, I am here to create awareness of something recently coming up in my conversations with my friends. 

Social Media only shows you one side of the coin, but what about the other? What about the days when you don’t feel your best and are too tired to put on makeup?

What about the days when you’re struggling and have to decide between paying your phone bill or your electricity? 

I know that Social Media’s purpose is to inspire, but sometimes I think it might be helpful to learn from someone who shows the good, bad, and ugly. 

I am guilty of this, so please don’t think I won’t hold myself accountable! 

There are days I will scroll and scroll for hours looking at others’ lives, and I can’t lie. It’s hard not to compare.

But I constantly remind myself that I am a work in progress. And I guess that’s my message to every one of you today. 

Don’t get lost in the sauce of social media. Remember the things you’re working towards in life. 

I know it’s hard to see others receive what you want, but it doesn’t mean it won’t come when it is supposed to happen. 

Listen, I am ready to move on to the next chapter of life outside of Grad School. And sometimes, seeing other women graduate makes me sad that I haven’t reached that milestone! 

But it’s the YET that keeps me pushing! 

We can allow social media to become the thing that leads us to negative self-talk or low self-esteem, or we can allow it to motivate us to keep pushing! 

As a result, I want to give a few tips on staying aware of the sauce so you don’t get caught up in it! 

1. Remember Who the Heck You Are:

Our lives do not always go according to the plan we set out, but it doesn’t mean we won’t reach the goals we have set out to conquer. 

Social Media will show you pictures, reels, and stories that only show the good side of life! But I can promise those individuals struggle just like you and me. They are all trying to figure out life. 

Thus, remember who you are and where you’re trying to get. Unfortunately, on social media, we won’t always see the steps the person took to get where they are in their photos, but it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t difficult to get to where you see them today. 

As a result, remind yourself that what you’re doing is getting you closer to the same or even a different photo in the future. 

But you can’t get there if you compare yourself to those around you! You have to focus on yourself and be happy with what image you see reflecting in the mirror because you’re FABULOUS, Sis!

2. Take Social Media Breaks:

If you have an iPhone, your phone sends weekly alerts on how much time you spend on social media. If you spend most of your time on social media, and it causes destruction instead of inspiration, I suggest taking mini-breaks. 

Detoxing from Social Media can help you get back on track and allow time to focus on what’s best for your well-being. 

As adults, we already have so much to worry about in life. Please don’t go causing yourself more stress by only seeing images that make you feel sad or like you’re not already working hard to create the world you want because You’re! 

Sis, you’re working so hard to make your life the way you want it to look, so if the images around you do not support that idea, remove them from your peer view.

It doesn’t have to be forever. It could be for a few days. But if you need longer, do what’s best for you at all times! 

3. Cleanse Your Feed & Mute Those Who Shouldn’t Be on Your Timeline:

Honey, just like you block people in your phone book, you can do the same on the Internet. 

And, if you need to mute them for a little while, click that button, Sis!

Others may say you’re doing too much, but it is better to have sanity than to people, please. Cleansing your timeline shifts your focus and allows you to see the images that best support your well-being and growth. 

Visualization is one of the essential things you can do for yourself. It allows you to find the motivation to keep pushing forward. Therefore, if your timeline does not offer inspiration, hit delete. 

Return to those pages when they do so! But make sure you’re cleansing your feed. Therefore you can purify your soul. 

4. Use Social Media for Your Benefit: 

Lastly, sis, if social media is going to be something you look at every day, at least network on it. 

Sis, social media can be one of the best places to network, but don’t trust everyone. 

If you have a business or want to tap into a new arena, social media can be helpful. 

I’ll give you a personal example. On FB, I am a proud member of Black Girls in Luxury. 

And let me tell you, I learn so much from those women! I’ve gained fashion suggestions and tips for when I am ready to move out, complete my taxes, and be the best Black woman I can be.

I don’t have to fake being someone I am not, and I’m not comparing myself to anyone in the group. Instead, I am learning, laughing, and improving myself. 

And, ladies, you can find the same platforms on social media!

IHateAdulthood on Instagram will always provide that atmosphere, but if you are joining other communities, the essential thing is to remain wise to those you interact with on the platforms because not everyone wants to see you win! 

Ladies, social media can be what you make it! 

Therefore, if it is not creating a conducive atmosphere for you, remove it and return to it later. 

And, if it does protect yourself from getting lost in the sauce, and always remain who you are at all times. 

The world does not need to know everything, but you can share on Social Media whatever you want. 

It can be the good, bad, and ugly! 

Stay true to who you are, and don’t get lost in the sauce. 

I will see you all in the next post! 

Peace + Prosperity, as always!

Jadis DeShong-Venay