Chapter 6: We Need “Superwoman” Too: It’s Ok to Not Always be Ok!

Mental Health 101!

I don’t know about you all, but it’s hard for me to express myself when going through something. 

More importantly, it’s hard to tell others what’s going on during rough times because no one wants to be judged for their emotions or feelings. 

Often, as Black women, when we are going through things or life is not going according to the plan we have created, we feel like we are failing. 

We feel like we have dropped the ball or something is wrong. 

But, in reality, we are just human and sometimes need a little help to get us through the storm. 

Since I was in high school, my mother always spoke about the importance of therapy. 

She always said the same way you take care of your physical body should be the same way you take care of your mental health. 

If you go for yearly physical check-ins, you should also go for annual mental check-ins! 

Because woman to woman, if you’re not mentally doing well, it’s hard to accomplish anything in life. 

It can be hard to do well at work. 

It can be hard to show up for your passions. 

It can be hard to show up for your friends.

But more importantly, it can be hard to show up for yourself!

And, Sista, if you can’t show up for yourself, you can’t show up for others.

I often talk with my homegirls about the importance of knowing it’s OK, not always to be OK.

But, ladies, it’s not OK to suffer in silence!

Because beloved, there are so many resources that can help you work on your mental health and help you create wellness!

For me, therapy in the past has always been helpful!

I can’t lie; I would get excited when I logged in and met with my therapist!

Taking those 45-mins of self-care is one of the best things I paid for weekly.

Not because there was always an issue

But because I found so many ways to create wellness and well-being in my life.  

Those 45-mins helped me keep my sanity and assisted me in keeping my mental health in check. 

But also, those sessions helped me feel comfortable no longer hiding my emotions or true thoughts because I should be able to express myself without fear that others will judge me.

More importantly, I shouldn’t have to hide my tears or pain behind my smile. 

And you shouldn’t have to either!

As Black women, we already deal with unrealistic expectations from our families, friends, significant others, jobs, and even ourselves. 

We often have to hide our exhaustion, stress, tiredness, anxiety, panic, depression, and feelings of being overwhelmed. 

But what happens when we can’t handle those feelings or emotions on our own?

Where should we go for support when carrying the load of life becomes too much on our shoulders? 

Who do we turn to when society expects us always to be and show up as “Superwoman,” saving the day and putting ourselves to the side. 

Where do we go to express our pain, joy, laughter, sadness, stress, disappointment, and strife? 

Because sometimes Black Women need a “Superwoman” Too! 

I don’t know about all of you, but I wish “Superwoman” would come in and save the day! 

But, until “Superwoman” comes, I guess I will have to take things into my own hands. 

And, ladies, you will have to do the same! 

Although taking care of one’s mental health is often considered a taboo in our community, it doesn’t mean we can’t break the cycle and make mental health a priority in our lives. 

Because seeking support is vital!

And, I am here to say that you shouldn’t knock something until you try it!

It may be nerve-wracking at first, but it doesn’t stay that way!

Beloved, we cannot always be our “superwoman.” 

Because sometimes we need “Superwoman” too! 

Sometimes we need help carrying our loads!

Sometimes we need help carrying our burdens!

But unfortunately, sometimes, we are too scared to tell others what is going on in our lives, so we decide to navigate adulthood alone.

Or, sometimes we don’t have anyone to turn to in our immediate circle, so we suffer alone! 

And Ladies, that’s why IHateAdulthood because we often feel like we have to do it alone! 

But we don’t have to because there are so many individuals and organizations willing to help us navigate the absurdities of adulthood, including IHateAdulthood!

Because, as Black women, we shouldn’t have to live in toxicity! 

We shouldn’t have to live in our pain and suffer alone when there are people who are trained to help us!

To offer us aid, counsel, and even a booster in our times of need! 

To help us ease the burdens we carry on our shoulders every day!

Because, you all, adulthood is not easy! 

And as Black women, our emotions and feelings matter!  

Therefore, Beloved, if something is going on, if you’re struggling and don’t want to do it alone, there are fellow women and men who will support you. 

I know therapy is not for everyone! 

But, if you haven’t tried it, I suggest you do! 

And, if that therapist doesn’t work, try another and then another until you find the best therapeutic fit! 

And, if therapy doesn’t work, try pilates, meditation, going to the gym, reading your Bible, talking to God, practicing self-care, and taking sabbaticals from things that are draining your energy! 

Girl, that includes your J-O-B! 

Because, Love, you deserve the best!

You deserve a “Superwoman” too!

Someone or something that will support you through your times of need! 

Just like in the way you show up to support others!

Because beloved, it’s OK not always to be OK!

But, it is not OK to know that you’re struggling and not do anything to help fix the problem! 

Your mental health matters! 

Therefore, beloved, don’t waste another second enduring the suffering you have been experiencing! 

Don’t hide your feelings or emotions because you are scared about what others will think about you! 

Because I promise you they are or have struggled too!

No one is exempt. We are all going through things in different ways! 

So, don’t be scared to say you need a little support because you are not alone!

I am you!

You are me!

We are all trying to figure out this complicated thing called adulthood, but that doesn’t mean we have to do it alone! 

We can do it with the assistance of others!

We can make that first appointment or return to our old therapist.

We can buy a new journal to get our thoughts out. 

We can join a new church or Bible study group. 

We can take ourselves out to eat! 

We can sign up for that workout class on the display window we see each time we drive past our local YMCA and Planet Fitness. 

We can call our best friends and admit that we are struggling. 

We can write into IHateAdulthood anonymously and say we need support. 

Because taking care of our well-being is essential! 

Therefore, ladies, I hope today will be the first day you no longer suffer in silence!

I hope today you will start or continue your mental health journey towards creating wellness and well-being in your life!

I hope today you will step out on faith and try something you’ve never tried before if it will bring you some form of peace in your everyday life!

Because, girl,  you deserve it! 

And you deserve positive mental health! 

If you’re struggling and don’t know where to go, there are so many resources willing to help! 

Check out our resource page if you don’t know where to start! 

And, if you still need more resources or a word of encouragement, send me a private message below! 

 I will offer as much expertise as I possibly can!

Because I want to see, you win!

And I want to see you not suffer in silence anymore! 

Because Beloved, you matter!

And more importantly, your mental health matters too!

Peace + Prosperity as always, 

Jadis DeShong-Venay

#Blackwomensmentalhealthmatters