Chapter 5: Ladies, It’s Time to Stop Blocking Your Blessings: The Importance of Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone!

Taking Risks 101

*Q & A For Blog Topics Is At The End of The Page, Responses Will Not Be Posted on The Blog Website*

Growth! 

Everyone in the world is trying to learn how to grow. Individuals may want to grow personally, financially, and or mentally. 

Everyone is looking for a new hot-fix to get themselves further than they are now. 

But, what if I told you the remedy people are often looking for is not something they can buy, it’s not something they can receive from others, and it’s not something they can get from the next women’s conference. 

It’s actually within themselves! 

The remedy, the fix, and the solution are all within that human being. 

Now I am not saying receiving advice from others, buying a planner, or attending a conference doesn’t help you grow. But, if you do not do some form of inner work, then they can be pretty pointless. 

Growth begins inside! Growth starts inside of the human being wanting to change! 

And, often, ladies, we block our growth by not taking the time to step out of our own way. 

We often block our blessings because we are too stuck in our comfort zones which stops us from being able to grow.

How many of you are stuck in your comfort zones? 

Scared to take a risk, try a new career, date a different type of person, or start a business. 

If you’re anything like me, I am often scared to step out of my comfort zone!

I don’t want to rock the boat. I don’t want to cause any further issues for myself. I would rather stay in my comfort bubble and not ruffle anyone’s feathers. 

But, I have realized how much that mindset has blocked tons of blessings in my life even if I practice it subconsciously. 

You all know I love examples, so of course, I will provide one for you. 

IHateAdulthood was birthed a long time ago! This idea has been sitting in my head for years upon years. 

But, as put together as I may come across via the blog, I struggled with sharing my thoughts on the internet. I didn’t want to deal with backlash or negative opinions. 

But more importantly, I didn’t want to fail. So, I stayed in my comfort zone. I planned the blog for years and kept pushing it off for as long as possible. 

But, 2022 came knocking on the door! 

And after having a conversation with God about where I want to be in my life, I finally placed a picture of a blog website on my vision board. 

As a result, I knew it was time to grow and stop blocking my blessings. I am unsure what will come out of this blog, but I am stepping out on faith! I hope that it will help a fellow black woman navigate adulthood a lot easier than I did one day. 

I hope it will create a community for black women to talk, discuss, and offer their opinions on the hardships we face in adulthood. 

More importantly, I hope that this blog will keep me out of my comfort zone! As I want to grow to my fullest potential!

But, y’all, I couldn’t get there until I started looking within. The desire for better forced me to look at my life differently. 

Therefore, I chose to step out on faith. I decided to take a risk that may still backfire. 

Or, maybe it will be successful beyond my wildest dreams. 

But, no matter what, I applaud myself for stepping out of a zone I have been in for so long. Because the Jadis I am now is ten times better than the Jadis, I was a year ago. 

(Yes, I spoke about myself in the third person, lol). 

But more importantly, she’s unstoppable! She’s determined! She’s resilient! She’s never going back to that zone again! 

Olympic Gold Medalist Simone Biles once said, “I’d rather regret the risks that didn’t work out than the chances I didn’t take at all.” (Quote Catalog, 2022)

And, I agree! 

Ladies, we cannot be scared of taking risks to get to the life we have dreamed about for years. 

Now, I am a realist, so I will always say weigh the pros and cons! But don’t let your fear of failing block your next blessing. Or your fear of stepping out of your comfort zone! 

Because y’all Beyoncé stepped out of her’s and look at her now!

Or, what about Oprah Winfrey!

Ketanji Brown Jackson!

Shoot, Harriet Tubman!

If those Black women could do it, love, you can do it too! 

Neale David Walsch once said, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Unwritten, 2017).”

So, can we promise one another that 2022 will be the first year we don’t live in our comfort zones! 

We will start those businesses! We will apply for that job we are nervous we are not qualified for and try dating again! We will attend that event! 

We will say yes to that opportunity that has been sitting on our desk for the last few weeks! 

We will step out on faith!

We will stop blocking the blessings trying to take us to the next level! 

As Ciara says, We Will “Level Up (Ciara, 2018).”

Now, I know this will not happen overnight. Stepping out of your comfort zone is scary! And, I understand that as I have been there before. 

So, I will provide some GEMS to you to offer you some support, so the journey is a lot easier! 

Get Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

Jadis, how the hell do I do that? 

There are a few ways to accomplish getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.

• Firstly, List the Reasons You’re Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone and Use Them as Motivation to Keep Pushing 

Girl, grab a pen or even a pencil if you can’t find one, and write out why you want to step out of your comfort zone. Once you’ve got it written down, baby, you’re golden! Taking your inner thoughts and putting them down on paper is the first step to you working on becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable! 

Once they are written down, put them in a visible place so that every time you wish to take a risk, you are reminded of why you’re doing so! It will help become your motivation to step out of your comfort zone, but it will also be a way to hold yourself accountable. And, baby accountability is the most crucial step to getting comfortable with the uncomfortable! 

• Secondly, Use Your Moments of Failure as Teachable 

Listen, I know failure is scary, but as Aaliyah once said, “if at first, you don’t succeed, dust yourself off on try again (Aaliyah, 2001).” Don’t stop pushing towards your goal of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable keep trying. Use your moments of setbacks as opportunities to try again and gain insight into what not to do the next time. List what went right and what went wrong, and apply it to your subsequent trials of stepping out of your comfort zone. 

• Thirdly, Use Baby Steps, Pace Yourself and Don’t Go Overboard 

Listen, I know people say life is a race. But, between you and I, it’s not. You’re not in competition with anyone else but yourself! Therefore, take your time, don’t go killing yourself trying to get where you want to be overnight. It takes trial and error, but you will know when you’ve mastered it! Because it won’t be like how everyone else conquered stepping out of their comfort zone, it will be like how you have mastered stepping out of your comfort zone in your own way. And that’s all that matters because it’s only you against yourself in the “race” we call life.  

• Finally, create a Group of Friends or Associates Who Takes Risks

There is a saying, “You’re the company you keep (Fern, 2013).” And whether you believe it to be an entirely true statement, it does have some validity. Having people in your inner circle who take risks and are willing to step out of their comfort zone sure motivates you to do better! And girl, if you don’t have anyone else to push you, I sure will! I will be in your corner each step of the way, telling you to take that risk, take that new job, try to date that new person, or even start that new business! 

Because sometimes all we need is just one person to tell us we can do it for a multimillion-dollar idea to blossom! 

Listen, I know the unknown is one of the scariest things! Not knowing what is on the other side of you, taking that risk is probably the most frightening and nerve-wracking jump you will ever take! But, girl, let me tell you, it feels so much better when you have accomplished one of your goals after stepping out of your own way! 

And, Ladies, that’s why I Hate Adulthood because taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone is petrifying, but it is also so rewarding! You jumping off the proverbial cliff is the best thing you can do for yourself! 

Because if you don’t, you will never know what you’re missing out on the other side of success! You could be missing out on the next Twitter, Google, or even cure to the latest phenomenon. 

But more importantly, you could be missing out on your next blessing! And, who’s to say when the next one will come around! 

So, don’t be scared, beloved! Don’t worry about failing the first time because you can always try again! 

And, no matter how many times it may take, know that “without struggle, there is no progress (Blackpast, 2007).” And victory is undoubtedly on the way! 

Because girl, you’re blessed in many different ways, and if others can do it, you indeed can too! 

Just know the recipe to success begins in you, the next million-dollar idea only takes one risk, and the next significant payout is collected after one flick of the wrist! 

You’ve got this fellow Black Queen! 

You are a trendsetter!

You are iconic!

You are the moment!

Therefore, don’t block your blessings because you’re too scared to take a risk!

Baby, jump in feet first and swim!

Because no matter how long it may take, success is only a few steps away!

Peace + Prosperity as Always,

Jadis DeShong-Venay

References:

Quote Catalog. (2022, May 16). Simone Biles. Quote Catalog. https://quotecatalog.com/quote/simone-biles-id-rather-regr-lawRbqp

Unwritten, C. (2017, October 17). Why Life Begins Once You Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-life-begins-once-you-get-outside-of-your-comfort_b_59e7f7b5e4b0e60c4aa367ed

Blackpast. (2007, January 25). (1857) FREDERICK DOUGLASS, “IF THERE IS NO STRUGGLE, THERE IS NO PROGRESS”. https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/1857-frederick-douglass-if-there-no-struggle-there-no-progress/

Ciara. (2018). Level Up [Song]. Beauty Marks [Album]. Beauty Marks. 

Aaliyah. (2000). Try Again [Song]. Romeo Must Die: The Album [Album]. Virgin

Fern, A. (2013, June 12). Why You’re the Company You Keep. https://www.elitedaily.com/life/why-you-are-the-company-you-keep