Prologue: Why Was Adulthood Created?

During this discussion, we will explore the origins of I Hate Adulthood: A Young Black Woman’s Kick-Ass Guide to Being an Independent Grown Woman!

I HATE ADULTHOOD!

 One of my favorite lines was I can’t wait to be an adult when I was younger. I thought becoming an adult was so fascinating. You could drive whatever car you wanted, say whatever you wanted, and buy whatever you wanted from the stores.

But, I was in for a RUDE awakening!

While you can do all of those things as an adult, they come at a cost!

 Money! You need money for everything! Not much on this earth is free anymore. 

And, if you are not careful as an adult, you will spend all of your time working and not enjoying the blessings you are receiving. More importantly, you will spend all of your time living for others and not for yourself!

As I said above, Adulting comes at a cost, and depending on the road you take determines how much you will pay. 

Some of us choose to work full-time jobs, be entrepreneurs, some decide to go to school part-time and work, and some choose to go to school full time. 

No matter which direction you choose, each decision comes at a financial, emotional, or physical cost.

And, don’t let me get started on the mental toll it can take! 

Like other adults, I thought going to grad school after graduating in the middle of a global pandemic was smart. I had just graduated from college and had no idea what to do with myself. So, I listened to the advice of a parent and decided more education was probably the best route. 

But, I couldn’t see what that decision would bring, as my life is not entitled “That’s So Raven,” and it’s not the future I can see! 

Cost #1: My Independence 

Grad school came at a cost, as did every other decision as an adult. No one told me my dream of moving out right after college would be canceled with the words “Tuition Bill.” While I am not naive and knew tuition would be a hefty bill, I still thought it could be a possibility. I know those reading are probably rolling your eyes, but I was only 21, fresh out of college, I did not know any better. So, I took the alternative route and stayed with my parents.

 Now, this isn’t going to be a long-winded rant that tells you I am not thankful for my parents sheltering me when I KNOW they don’t have to. Instead, it’s an open-hearted letter to the young girl out there who is trying to figure it out ADULTHOOD without the proper “How to Adult 101 Manual”. 

Had I been given a guide like “Map” in Dora the Explorer, I promise you I would have known my first rookie mistake. Let me make it straightforward for you: I DID NOT CONSULT THE MAN UPSTAIRS! While I prayed to get into the grad school program, I did not pray for the help to deal with the consequences that would soon unfold!

A.K.A THE LOSS OF MY INDEPENDENCE! 

Before, I could do what I wanted! Spend money the way I wanted! Live the way I wanted! But grad school, oh dear old grad school, said in big letters, “BYE BYE INDEPENDENCE, WELCOME TO RESPONSIBILITIES.” 

Just like the 5 Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance, it took me a while to understand to get closer to your dreams, you have to lose some things temporarily. 

While I can’t live the way I once could, I am now 1 step closer to getting to another degree. And, with God’s provision, hopefully, it will get me one step closer to being in another TAX BRACKET so that I can get back to living INDEPENDENTLY the way I so desperately want to! 

I can’t lie and say I have entirely accepted the situation I have placed myself in, but I am willing to be accountable for the choice I MADE. 

There are days I battle between Denial and Anger, like today! I am sitting on my bed looking at apartments, wondering how I ended up back in my parent’s home? 

Angry with myself for the choice I made, thinking about dropping out so that I can work the 40 hours a week to gain back the INDEPENDENCE I have lost.

But then I wonder what the HELL will I do with the credits I have? And, if I stop now, I have wasted time and MONEY! But more importantly, I am pushing myself back steps instead of going forward to my goals for the future. 

If I could do it over, I would have waited. I can’t lie! Going back to school after graduating from UNDERGRAD may not have been wise! I probably needed a more extended break to heal from the things that happened during those four years, but I didn’t! 

BUT NO ONE TOLD ME! NOT EVEN MY MAMA! 

And now I must learn to be an ADULT, HEAL, MAKE MONEY, and PAY TAXES simultaneously! You have got to be SHITTING ME! 

WHAT DO I WANT TO TELL JOE BYRON RIGHT NOW? 

CUT MY TUITION LOANS IN HALF! I AM DYING, AND THERE ARE OTHER BLACK GIRLS OUT HERE DYING TOO! 

AND BECAUSE JOE WON’T LISTEN, I GUESS I HAVE TO CALL ON MY FELLOW BLACK WOMEN, HOW DO YOU DO IT? 

How do you wake up every day and keep pushing? How do you make adulthood work? 

TELL US! We need the GEMS! 

But if there are no suggestions, I guess I’ll have to figure it out! So, I hope you enjoy my ride of trying to create the best manual for a Black Girl’s Guide to Adulthood. 

Welcome! Stay a While! Invite Others! I am excited to share what I will learn! 

I’ll provide the GEMS others forgot to mention on this platform! The ones they thought we should learn on our own! Like, did all of you know BRAS has Sister Sizes. So, If, you’re a 32C, you can also wear a 34 B! And, if, you’re a 36 DD., you can wear a 34 DDD or a 38 D. 

NO ONE MENTIONED THAT TO ME! 

WAIT TILL YOU’RE GROWN, THEY SAY! Well, Dammit, I can’t wait anymore! 

Welcome to I HATE ADULTHOOD: A Young Black Woman’s KICK-ASS Guide to Being an Independent Grown-Ass Woman!

DID I MENTION I HATE ADULTHOOD?